There’s no real way to capture with words what it was like to be a Middle School student when the Lord of the Rings trilogy came out.

The last of the three films released into the world on December 17, 2003. Twenty years ago today.

I was 12 years old. My room already littered with action figures and posters and books and every magazine I could find, every trading card, some swords and of course the two extended edition statues. It’s quite possible I’ve never had an obsession like it since. Which if you know me at all, means something rather significant.

I remember I had a sticker pack of letters and numbers and despite the very strict dress code at Holy Comforter Episcopal School, I put a countdown on my shirt so that all my peers would know just how many days until The Return of the King hit theaters. “12 more days till LOTR…11 more days till LOTR….”

It was all I was known for. I was that kid who thought the Lord of the Rings was the best thing that ever happened.

Now I’m 32. And little has changed.

There’s something about that first story you fall head over heels in love with. It stays with you. Shapes you. And dare I say connects you to life, to hope, to wonder, and to others. There have been so many people that have come in and out of my life that I’ve shared these stories with. Quoted lines together. Laughed over memes. Gathered for snowstorm marathons. Taken to the theater.

The night I saw The Fellowship of the Ring with my brother my life legitimately changed. The obsession of my forming years took deep root. Never had I been so wowed by the product of a camera. There was nothing like these special effects. These costumes. This MUSIC. I decided then and there that I wanted to make movies and for well near a decade that was my life’s pursuit. I became obsessed with filmmaking and the entire world of cinema because of Lord of the Rings. Combing over all the special features and learning everything I could about movie making.

I even chose not to go to the high school my best friends would attend and instead chose to go to the high school where I would be able to learn more about filmmaking. These movies truly changed my life.

I’d like to think most people who knew me young thought that making movies is where I would end up. It was and is still such a passion. I love movies. And I love them deeply because of these films.

Each time I play this trilogy I find myself hitting my deepest nostalgia. It’s not just the merch, the toys, the memories of what it was like to see these for the first time. It’s the way these films have been like a real tangible friend to me. Getting me through the years, through the hardships, providing both comfort and safety and inspiration and even ideology.

There is so much hope packed into these stories. And when the days feel thin of hope, I am reminded of my favorite films and those meaningful lessons. “All you have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to you.” That it’s not in vain if we hold true to each other. That’s there’s some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for. And perhaps we cannot carry the burdens of our friends, but we can carry them.

Spoken almost like prophecy:

“Those are the stories that stayed with you. That meant something.

Even if you were too small to understand why.”

So it’s not just celebrating the twentieth anniversary of a movie one thinks is better than all the others. It’s marking twenty years of growing older and the story that has been the most meaningful companion the entire way.

And I am grateful and I am moved and I am ready to watch this masterpiece, that rules them all, once again.